so just like cherry blossom was having thoughts about the married guy again, I’m having thoughts about my ex again. It’s hard to believe I was still with him when Cherry Blossom and I started this blog. It’s hard to believe we’re not together still. It’s even harder than we’ve been broken up for over a year and I still am not over him. I saw a picture of him today. He was looking good. Worked out, strong muscles. Don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend (and Cherry Blossom but she’s straight damn it. :p) but sometimes I wonder where him and I would be if I hadn’t messed it up with him. If he’d still have left if I’d have been a good girlfriend to him. I just wonder if I really did everything I could to get him back. I leave to go back home Monday but I really wish I wasn’t coming back. Besides Cherry Blossom and our friend there’s really nothing at home for me. I don’t want this anymore. I want to start a new life.
My night tonight was much better than last night. Yes I was thinking of Johnny most of the day but it didn’t make me quite as depressed. Poor Poinsettia is having some problems in her love life too. So lets all hope for the best for her.
You know what I really like? The answer would be sex. God, it feels so amazing when its done right. I’ve had some really great sexual experiences lately. I know I don’t usually talk about it but my sex life just got so much better so its a must. Plus My friends and I always talk about sex, so its only natural. My husband hardly ever wanted to have sex with me. So disappointing. I’m like the type of person who wants sex 24/7. I actually watch porn sometimes too, and I masturbate way more than I should. But I like the way it feels. I know this is an odd topic, but why not? I’m sure you all like sex too. oh good old fashioned sex just puts a smile on my face. I like it rough, but who doesn’t? It just makes it feel so much better. Well I guess I should stop there before I go into way to much detail!!
I’ve been thinking about Johnny (the married guy) again. I mean sure the friends with benefit person is helping me get over him but sometimes I have those nights. And tonight is one of those nights. I couldn’t stop myself from looking at his Facebook profile. And I saw him with his child and god damn it if my heart didn’t skip a beat. I still love him but its to be expected I suppose. Why did he have to be the only man who ever made me actually feel like I was worth something? That’s why I love him so much. He saw the real me and no one else ever has seen me that way. He made me feel beautiful and smart and funny and so much more. He was like the perfect guy for me except you know the part about the gf/wife. I honestly still get butterflies just looking at him. I’m missing him terribly right now. I kind of want him to write me and then again I kind of don’t want him to write me. Mostly I do want him to write me. In my dream world he comes and tells me he’s always been in love with me and that I’m his perfect match and that he was stupid to think it could work with anyone else. But in reality that would never happen, its more like a movie or a book than something that actually happens. UGH!!! I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!
Thanks for reading my Johnny rant! You guys are great! Feel free to leave words of wisdom in the comment section!!
This title has long in quotations because I don’t think it will be as long as cherry blossom would like. Im in new Jersey with my grandmother until Monday. It’s been good so far. I met a cute guy on the bus from binghamton named James whom I took a picture of while he was sleeping. He shared some of his hash browns with me. Then I went to ihop and tgifridays today and it was delicious. Tomorrow I want to take pictures of this beautiful house up here and I will make sure to post them. I am currently reading the chronicles of Narnia. Good so far. Not quite sure what all I’m doing tomorrow but I’ll keep everyone posted. Goodnight all
Hey everyone!! Cherry Blossom here! Not much to catch you up on that’s why I haven’t written lately. My life is at a boring old stale mate lately. The only good thing is I’m getting over the married man, yay!! And also i’m getting over my own husband. He asked me for a divorce than has the nerve to propose to me again because he says he made a mistake. Well I don’t want to be an after thought, so he can go screw himself. This new man in my life is very helpful, we may only be just friends but he really helps me through the day. I really have mine and Poinsettia’s horrible walk the other week to thank for his friendship. SO THANKS POINSETTIA!!!! Everyday i’m getting stronger. <3 Love you guys.
Hey guys, just keeping up on this because I feel like this is the only thing I am progressing in in life. It’s just so hard when you only work a part time job and are in college to keep up on debts and bills and everything. I love this blog though. I love how far spread our blog has gone and how many people read our blog. It’s awesome. I love you guys so much and I am so happy that you guys support Cherry Blossom and I so much. Thanks!! Will post again soon. Next Monday I am going to New Jersey for a week then about 3wks until I go back to school. Will keep posting though.
Hi everyone, Cherry Blossom here. I have something important for me to confess. Since my actual marriage is ending, I decided to do something. I had sex with one of my friends. It was great. The point is however that, it made me realize that I am happy with this relationship ending. Because even though technically I didn’t cheat, he did leave me, I didn’t feel bad at all. I was actually happy. Its been so long since I’ve really been happy. And not to mention I have hardly thought of the married man at all, which is a plus. Though I will miss my husband dearly, we are better off apart. And I just hope that I can find someone who really loves me and doesn’t waste so much time out of my life. And someone who makes me forget that, that married man ever existed. I think its possible. Maybe its just around the corner. Who knows?