Had a great day at work today. Found out I can get covered with insurance there and got some awesome compliments. Two weeks and two days until I go back to school. Excited. XD. Three days off so hopefully some relaxation. Gonna try to finish reading the chronicles of Narnia. Love you guys.
So I did have a post about my divorce, but since it got deleted by accident, I want to talk about something else.
I always wonder what my friends think about me. I know the things they say to me. But I wonder if they actually like being my friend or if they really cant stand me. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends but sometimes the things they write me, like constant short answers. It makes me feel like they don’t actually care enough to have a real conversation with me. I hope that they all do actually like me. I would cry if they’ve all been lying to me for all this time. I love my friends, yes they do annoy me constantly, but I mostly enjoy their company. But I cant help but wonder…
Hey everyone this is a short post. There’s this family and their house burned down a long time ago but they still don’t have the money to finish it. And they had a contractor who basically cheated them out of all their money. So they got a new contractor and it’s gonna take a lot of money to finish their house. So I know it’s a lot to ask but if anyone wants to donate to the cause here is a link: http://www.gofundme.com/bs9o3s
so just like cherry blossom was having thoughts about the married guy again, I’m having thoughts about my ex again. It’s hard to believe I was still with him when Cherry Blossom and I started this blog. It’s hard to believe we’re not together still. It’s even harder than we’ve been broken up for over a year and I still am not over him. I saw a picture of him today. He was looking good. Worked out, strong muscles. Don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend (and Cherry Blossom but she’s straight damn it. :p) but sometimes I wonder where him and I would be if I hadn’t messed it up with him. If he’d still have left if I’d have been a good girlfriend to him. I just wonder if I really did everything I could to get him back. I leave to go back home Monday but I really wish I wasn’t coming back. Besides Cherry Blossom and our friend there’s really nothing at home for me. I don’t want this anymore. I want to start a new life.
My night tonight was much better than last night. Yes I was thinking of Johnny most of the day but it didn’t make me quite as depressed. Poor Poinsettia is having some problems in her love life too. So lets all hope for the best for her.
You know what I really like? The answer would be sex. God, it feels so amazing when its done right. I’ve had some really great sexual experiences lately. I know I don’t usually talk about it but my sex life just got so much better so its a must. Plus My friends and I always talk about sex, so its only natural. My husband hardly ever wanted to have sex with me. So disappointing. I’m like the type of person who wants sex 24/7. I actually watch porn sometimes too, and I masturbate way more than I should. But I like the way it feels. I know this is an odd topic, but why not? I’m sure you all like sex too. oh good old fashioned sex just puts a smile on my face. I like it rough, but who doesn’t? It just makes it feel so much better. Well I guess I should stop there before I go into way to much detail!!
I’ve been thinking about Johnny (the married guy) again. I mean sure the friends with benefit person is helping me get over him but sometimes I have those nights. And tonight is one of those nights. I couldn’t stop myself from looking at his Facebook profile. And I saw him with his child and god damn it if my heart didn’t skip a beat. I still love him but its to be expected I suppose. Why did he have to be the only man who ever made me actually feel like I was worth something? That’s why I love him so much. He saw the real me and no one else ever has seen me that way. He made me feel beautiful and smart and funny and so much more. He was like the perfect guy for me except you know the part about the gf/wife. I honestly still get butterflies just looking at him. I’m missing him terribly right now. I kind of want him to write me and then again I kind of don’t want him to write me. Mostly I do want him to write me. In my dream world he comes and tells me he’s always been in love with me and that I’m his perfect match and that he was stupid to think it could work with anyone else. But in reality that would never happen, its more like a movie or a book than something that actually happens. UGH!!! I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!
Thanks for reading my Johnny rant! You guys are great! Feel free to leave words of wisdom in the comment section!!
This title has long in quotations because I don’t think it will be as long as cherry blossom would like. Im in new Jersey with my grandmother until Monday. It’s been good so far. I met a cute guy on the bus from binghamton named James whom I took a picture of while he was sleeping. He shared some of his hash browns with me. Then I went to ihop and tgifridays today and it was delicious. Tomorrow I want to take pictures of this beautiful house up here and I will make sure to post them. I am currently reading the chronicles of Narnia. Good so far. Not quite sure what all I’m doing tomorrow but I’ll keep everyone posted. Goodnight all